Oy vay.

Heard this on TV this morning at the gym:

“Cingular is now the new AT&T”

I had my back to the TV and thought to myself “what does that mean? Which brand died?”

It reminds me of the evergreen pitch from the fashionistas:

“Brown is the new black.”

Every season, a new variation on the same tired admonition: “gray is the new black,” “green is the new black,” “blue is the new black.” Translation:

Brown has replaced black.

So if Cingular is now the new AT&T, has Cingular replaced AT&T?

Au contraire. AT&T has replaced Cingular.

How can such a big company full of smart people make such a silly mistake? Answer: navel gazing. We’re guessing the original line was “Cingular is now AT&T.” Simple, functional, communicative.

But then some genius said “add the word new, Bob. We want people to know we’re the new AT&T. Not that stodgy old company we used to be.”

So Cingular is now the new AT&T. Red is the new black. And we miss the old Ma Bell.